I went to a party and my friend, Hooter, was telling me about this magazine that writes about places with supernatural activity, like haunted houses or vortexes. It’s called Tripping Magazine, which I guess uses the word in the original sense, but for a while I thought he was talking about something completely different. It was a very loud party. Anyway, he said the editor is always looking for unusual ways to promote the magazine, and I immediately thought about the song I wrote for my friend Annie, who makes all-natural dog treats. The song was “Doggy All Natural,” and it got a LOT of hits on YouTube, although again, some people apparently thought I was singing about something else. Still, I’m sure a lot of those people have dogs.
Anyway, I called the Tripping Magazine office the next day. The phone rang for so long that I’d kind of forgotten I was still holding it, and then this man answered. He had a Scottish accent and was super charming. European men are often super charming, have you ever noticed that? I think they must teach it to them at school. We talked for quite a while, and finally came up with a deal where I would write a song for each issue’s feature article, and if he likes it, they’ll feature it on their website. He said they have a lot of subscribers, although he didn’t want to give me a number unless it was current and accurate. He said he’d find out from their subscription guy and let me know later. But all I have to do is write and perform the song. They’ll take care of recording the video, putting it on their website, and making sure it links to my website. He said that maybe at the end of the year they could put together an album of my songs and offer it for sale, giving me most of the money. I think I’m going to get something in writing, so I retain all my rights. Luckily, Hooter also knows a lawyer from when he had that trespassing charge, which totally got thrown out. I guess the guy was pretty good.