Tripping asked me to write a song about the magazine, and this is the result. Hope you like it!
I put my guitar in the case to get it out of the way while my parents visited, and then my current day job (make-up artist at a funeral home) got crazy busy (the weather?), so I didn’t do much playing for like, three months. Then I started work on a song and I’m so freakin’ obsessive, I play until it hurts too much. At least the blisters didn’t fill up with blood this time. I hate that.
My guitar is a Blueridge, btw. It’s a nice instrument for the money, although the low E buzzes if I’m not careful. Will probably have to get that fixed someday.
I went to a party and my friend, Hooter, was telling me about this magazine that writes about places with supernatural activity, like haunted houses or vortexes. It’s called Tripping Magazine, which I guess uses the word in the original sense, but for a while I thought he was talking about something completely different. It was a very loud party. Anyway, he said the editor is always looking for unusual ways to promote the magazine, and I immediately thought about the song I wrote for my friend Annie, who makes all-natural dog treats. The song was “Doggy All Natural,” and it got a LOT of hits on YouTube, although again, some people apparently thought I was singing about something else. Still, I’m sure a lot of those people have dogs.
Anyway, I called the Tripping Magazine office the next day. The phone rang for so long that I’d kind of forgotten I was still holding it, and then this man answered. He had a Scottish accent and was super charming. European men are often super charming, have you ever noticed that? I think they must teach it to them at school. We talked for quite a while, and finally came up with a deal where I would write a song for each issue’s feature article, and if he likes it, they’ll feature it on their website. He said they have a lot of subscribers, although he didn’t want to give me a number unless it was current and accurate. He said he’d find out from their subscription guy and let me know later. But all I have to do is write and perform the song. They’ll take care of recording the video, putting it on their website, and making sure it links to my website. He said that maybe at the end of the year they could put together an album of my songs and offer it for sale, giving me most of the money. I think I’m going to get something in writing, so I retain all my rights. Luckily, Hooter also knows a lawyer from when he had that trespassing charge, which totally got thrown out. I guess the guy was pretty good.
I like to play my guitar, sing, and make the world a happier place. I believe the universe is full of unimaginable things, just waiting for us to imagine them. Only, if they’re unimaginable, that might mean we can’t. Okay, I believe the world is full of difficult to imagine things, just waiting for us to imagine them. Why they are waiting, I don’t know. Maybe they want us to talk to them, or sing them a song, or paint their picture, although humans are usually more interested in making money off new things, or eating them, or making them our pets, so you know what, difficult-to-imagine things? You should keep laying low.
I hope you’ll come back and visit when I’ve uploaded video of me playing some of my songs. There’s also a subscription thingie, if you’re like me and have trouble remembering things. Sometimes I go outside and can’t remember why I went, so I sit and enjoy the sun and the air, and all the little bugs and plants, only to later remember that I was supposed to turn off the hose or feed the neighbor’s dogs. But it all gets done, given time. That might be my motto. It all gets done, given time. My last motto was, “Don’t sweat on the small stuff,” until someone told me “on” isn’t part of it. I didn’t like that nearly as much, so I’m looking for a new motto. Motto is a funny-looking word, don’t you think? If I had a boy, I would consider naming him Motto. Motto Clinch, maybe. That just came to me. Motto Clinch. He’s such a great guy.